F.L.A.T

It was around 7:15 P.M and we were much behind Kotputli. The entire NH was in a bad shape and too many diversions lead to chaos and long traffic jams. Somehow, Shobhit was managing to listen to our non-sense talks and was keeping a keen eye on the highway in order to not to stuck in a jam. 

Suddenly, a sound came and the car started misbehaving. The steering went out of control and Shobhit said its a FLAT. The first thing that came in my mind after listening the word "FLAT" was another very popular F word that ends with K and is considered as the most popular word under the mentioned set of conditions. (F**K).

Shobhit : Sala, kismat hi kharab hai

Me : Jo hai, so hai. Chalo karo tyre change.

Jeetu : Aaja chal, jaldi se karte hai.

We were already running behind the schedule and this FLAT screwed the situation royally. Luckily, there was a tyre shop near the place where we stopped. Shobhit and Jeetu had a tough time changing the tyre and after replacing the tyre Jeetu went to that puncture shop to get the puncture fixed. 

While, jeetu was getting the tyre fixed.

Shobhit : Sala, koi plan banao to usme bhasad pehle hoti hai.

Me : Abey chhod na, abhi ho jayega theek, phir bhagao gaadi tum.

Shobhit : Mera to dimaag kharab ho raha hai.

It took more than expected time for Jeetu to get the tyre fixed. He was around 200 meters away from us. I decided to go to him and checkout what is wrong. 

Me : Kya hua be ? Itna time kyun lag gaya hai ?

Jeetu : Abey yaar, tyre phat gaya hai ??

Me : WHAT ?? 

Puncture waala : Yeh dekhiye bhai sahab.

Me : Shit man. Now what are we gonna do ?

Jeetu : Kuch jugaad karwa rahe hai, bhaiyya bol rahe hai ki chal jayega, bas road road pe chalana hai agar yeh waala tyre lagaya to. 

Me : Hmm, chalo, lets get it done. 

While I was waiting for the puncture waala to finish his job. I recieved a call from Shobhit's mom. 

Aunty : Beta, Kahan pe ho ?

Me : Aunty bas chal chuke hai, raaste main hai, bahot traffic jam hai.

Aunty : Kitne baje chale the wahan se ?

Me : Aunty chal diye the 4 baje ke kareeb. 

Aunty : Aur kitna time lagega ?

Me : Pata nahi aunty, 2-3 ghante aur lagne chahiye, but bahot jyada traffic jam hai.

Aunty : Theek hai beta, dhyan se aana tum log.

As a matter of fact, I knew that the deadline given to us is gonna get violated. First of all, this FLAT, then the condition of NH-8. By the time, the puncture waala set us free with the Jugaad tyre, it was already 8:00 P.M. Me and Jeetu reached near the car. 

Me : I have an idea.

Shobhit : Kya ?

Me : Lets sit in the car and roll first. Will tell you on the way. We are getting late.

Shobhit started the car and we were again on the road. This time more careful.

Me : See, Papa's factory is near Rewari which is around 90 Km odd from here. 

Shobhit : To ?

Me : I think we should spend the night there in the guest house and then we'll start early morning. Suppose, if something went wrong in the middle of the night on highway. What are we gonna do ?

Shobhit got lost in a thought process. His mind stopped working. Again Tension took its toll on him. 

Jeetu : Nahin yaar, chalte hai. Jo hoga dekha jayega.

Shobhit : Behror aana baaki hai na abhi ? Wahan pe bhi to room leke reh sakte hai

Me : Haan, but kya fayeda, thoda aur aage chalke free main rahenge. (Spoken like a typical baniya)

Jeetu : Chalte hai yaar, jo hoga dekha jayega.

Shobhit kept silent for a few minutes.

Me : Tujhe kya hua ? Kuch to bol.

Shobhit : Chhod yaar, ghar hi chal rahe hai. Jo hoga dekha jayega raaste main.

Me : To lo bhagwan ka naam aur bhagao gaadi.

Jeetu : Pollution check karwa lenge raaste main, pata nahin warna Delhi main kuch bhasad ho gayi.

Me and Shobhit both agreed to his statement and started looking for a pollution checking center on the highway.

We were about to reach Behror, where suddenly Jeetu shouted 

Jeetu : Oye, woh raha pollution checking centre.

Me : Chalo, karwate hai jaldi se.

Shobhit turned his car towards that BP petrol pump but soon we realized that the checking center was closed. The owner of that petrol pump was there. He was around 50-55 years of age.

Jeetu : Uncle, pollution check karwana tha.

Owner : Beta, woh to band ho gaya hai yahan. Woh aadmi ghar chala gaya hai.

Then, we realized it was around 9:15 P.M. 

Jeetu : Uncle, dekh lijiye kuch ho sake to, humain Delhi jaana hai aur pollution certificate nahin hoga to challan ho jayega

Owner : Bete, yahan to possible nahi hai. Hota to main karwa deta. 

Jeetu : Uncle aage aur koi padega ?

Owner : Arre haan, bahot saare hai. Jaise hi Haryana main enter karoge, bahot saare pollution checking units mil jayenge aap logo ko.

Me : Chalo theek hai uncle. Thanks.

We hopped in the car and left the petrol pump.

Contd.

The Shahpura Incident.....

NH-8 was badly traffucked that day. The entire highway is in bad shape because of the six lane project that is going on. Too many by-passes and utter chaos out there made difficult for Shobhit to drive down to Delhi. I was expecting a smooth run on the highway but its condition said it all. Pathetic is an underrated word to be used for it. 

Another thing is patience. Indians keep "patience" at home when they move out of their houses on their vehicles. Every one is in hurry as if Katrina Kaif and Ranbir Kapoor are giving away free kisses on first come first serve basis. You would find very few patient people on the highway. 

So, we crossed the Manoharpur toll and headed towards Shahpura. The entire highway was traffucked as I mentioned earlier. In between we had delicious lunch cum dinner at some hotel The food was good and reasonable. The tea served there did not please both Shobhit and Jeetu and they had a bit of an argument over the payments to be made for that lousy tea. Jeetu grabbed a coffee from Cafe Coffee Day and we moved on.

Shobhit's car is registered with an Uttaranchal number. At Shahpura, while we were stuck in a traffic jam, two policemen came near our car and asked us to park on a side. All three of us were like what the F***.

Jeetu : Kya hua ?

Thulla 1 : Side main aa jao.

Thulla 2 : Kahan se aa rahe ho ?

Me : Jaipur se.

Thulla 2 : Achcha, side main lagao gaadi

Me : Shobhit, laga yaar side main.

Shobhit parked the car on a side, went inside and asked me to wait in the car itself. After a few minutes he came back and asked me to give him the Registration and Insurance certificates from the dashboard. He took them with him went inside and came out again and asked for the Pollution Certificate ...... I was like DAMN, now from where do I give that to you ????

We were not having a Pollution certificate and that gave rise to our chances of getting royally screwed by Shahpura ke thulle. 

Shobhit went inside the check post office and told the officer that he is not carrying pollution certificate with him. Jeetu is very good in dealing with policemen. As, Shobhit and Jeetu both are media people and always carry their press cards with them, it was easy for them to manipulate those policemen and soon they set us free without any bribe. With our screwed minds, it took us some time to get normal and we again got busy into our usual bakar. But, another thing was waiting for us .......

Contd.